Dineen, who met her ex-husband before cell phones were a thing, says the concept of online dating was unfamiliar territory to her at the time. “For me, it was a major learning curve, like for a lot of middle-aged divorced people,” she says. “So I had to figure it all out kind of on my own, because I didn’t really have any friends that were in the same boat yet.” But after a series of first dates and plenty of swiping, Dineen did figure it out—and she’s now using her online dating experiences (as well as her background in fashion, photo, and editing) to help others navigate the modern dating world. In addition to writing the book The Art of Online Dating: Style Your Most Authentic Self and Cultivate a Mindful Dating Life, Dineen also created Style My Profile, a profile styling service for online daters, and offers coaching to clients from ages 20 to 80. To get some of her insight on the modern dating scene, we asked Dineen for advice on the very first step of online dating: creating a profile. Keep reading for her tips on how to create an online dating profile and how get comfortable putting yourself out there digitally.
How to Create an Online Dating Profile
So, if you’ve been hesitant to get on the apps, do yourself a favor by releasing any stigma you feel and just allowing yourself to go for it. Once you have that list, you can start to compile a bio that is unique to you. (Just remember to cross out the words “loyal,” “kind,” and “funny,” Dineen advises.) Another profile characteristic that can send the wrong message is focusing too much on your family or kids and not enough on yourself. “Everyone asks me, ‘Should I include pictures of me with my kids?’” Dineen says. “And I usually say, ‘I think it’s fine to include one, but no more than that,’ because you want to give off the message that you are available to date.” If every photo on your profile includes your kids, especially younger kids, “that doesn’t exactly say, ‘I’m ready to date, I have free nights,’” Dineen adds. Do: Include a headshot. A high-quality, shoulders-up photo of yourself should be the first image on your profile, Dineen says. “You really need to show your full face, no sunglasses, no hat, no shadows across your face, something really clear,” she adds. Don’t: Use photos from your car or bathroom. This is a common category of photos, especially for men, on dating apps, Dineen says, but it’s time to expire the bathroom/car selfie for good. These photos can come off as low-effort and just, honestly, kind of confusing too. Do: Include an activity shot. “I usually tell people to include one active or activity kind of shot, like something that you like to do, whether it’s a hobby or a sport or whatever it is, just something where you’re doing something out and about,” Dineen says. Do: Include a social shot. Especially if your profile says you like to spend time out with friends, it’s good to back that up with some fun, social photos of you having a good time out of the house. “If you’re kinda dressed up and you’re out to dinner and you, you’re feeling good, that’s a good time to have someone take some photos of you,” Dineen says. Don’t: Include a bunch of selfies. A good selfie is all about practice, Dineen says. While younger generations have grown up learning how to find the right lighting, get their best angles, and take great selfies, it’s not something that comes as naturally for people who didn’t grow up with smartphones. “Unless you’ve taken, I usually say at least 200 selfies of yourself, don’t include it yet,” Dineen says. It’s better, in that case, to use your favorite photos that someone else has taken of you.
